Legal Disclaimers of GameFAQs

A celebration of the hyperbolic, self-aggrandising, aggressive and simply absurd "legal disclaimers" that GameFAQS authors attach to their documents.

Hilarity!
Don’t crush my dreams of marrying a Kardashian and appearing on the cover of Vogue because of my well-researched Wonder Boy in Monsterland FAQ. 

Don’t crush my dreams of marrying a Kardashian and appearing on the cover of Vogue because of my well-researched Wonder Boy in Monsterland FAQ. 

Little does he know that I’m actually Chaotic-Neutral. 

Little does he know that I’m actually Chaotic-Neutral. 

Dammit, and here I was planning to make a fortune by raffling off tickets to  Nintendoholic’s Majora’s Mask FAQ.

Dammit, and here I was planning to make a fortune by raffling off tickets to  Nintendoholic’s Majora’s Mask FAQ.

Thanks for the clarification - I’d assumed that was the name your mother had given you.

Thanks for the clarification - I’d assumed that was the name your mother had given you.

If you wanted to whip out a clay tablet and etch the FAQ in cuneiform, you’re simply not allowed. 

If you wanted to whip out a clay tablet and etch the FAQ in cuneiform, you’re simply not allowed. 

The “disclaimer” for this guy’s Fallout FAQ is so long that it requires a preamble, and is broken down into ten numbered sections, some of which contain subsections (s4(L) in particular is riveting!).My word count tells me it’s nearly 2600 words, which is not only longer than many entire FAQS, but also several pieces of legislation.  
Don’t disturb the FAQ, it’s sleeping. 
The first thing they teach you in contract law - the more exclamation points, the more legally-binding. 

The first thing they teach you in contract law - the more exclamation points, the more legally-binding.